


The Thing

by RealityShowJunky



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Alternate Universe - Non-Magical, F/M, Jealous Sirius Black, M/M, Oblivious Remus Lupin
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-10
Updated: 2019-11-10
Packaged: 2021-01-27 06:37:40
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,325
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21387751
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RealityShowJunky/pseuds/RealityShowJunky
Summary: Sirius continued: “I thought this little guy could keep you company while I’m at work.”Remus laughed as the puppy planted lick upon lick across his face. “I love you,” he said.Sirius’ felt his own breath hitch. “I lo—”“I love you,” Remus repeated to the puppy, in a high-pitched voice Sirius had never heard come out of his mouth. “I love you, I love you, I love you!”///In which Sirius buys Remus a puppy and immediately regrets it.
Relationships: James Potter/Lily Evans Potter, Sirius Black/Remus Lupin
Comments: 11
Kudos: 472





	The Thing

Remus answered his door exactly how Sirius expected him to.

“What are you doing here?” he demanded, blocking the doorway with crossed arms and an uncharacteristic scowl.

  
In response, Sirius smiled his brightest only-for-Remus smile. “I have a surprise for you.”

  
Remus didn’t budge. “You can’t keep buying me expensive things to make up for the fact that you don’t want to spend any actual time with me.”

  
“I want to spend _all_ my time with you!”

  
“You canceled our last three dates! Three!”

  
“I’m sorry,” Sirius apologized, bringing his voice back down. He didn’t come here to upset Remus more than he already had. He took a deep breath and released his words in one big jumble: “I know that I’ve been working really long hours and weekends and I know it’s not fair that I haven’t been able to give you the time you deserve but I got you something that I think will make the next few months a little easier.” Without waiting for a response, Sirius drew in the dog carrier he had strategically hidden from view.

  
Remus’ breath hitched. “What’s that?”

  
Sirius simply grinned and let the creature free.

  
The connection was instantaneous. The puppy flew into Remus’ arms like it had done it a thousand times before. There was no hesitation—no mistaking its true master. Sirius felt the energy shift in the air around him and he tried not to let his chest puff out too much in pride.

  
“You got me a dog?” Remus asked in a breathy voice that really _did things_ for Sirius.

  
“Don’t worry,” Sirius replied through a grin. “I already asked Lily, and she’s totally okay with it. And she talked to your landlady, who’s also fine with it.” (Or at least fine with the fifty dollars a month she would be charging Sirius in pet rent.)

  
Sirius continued: “I thought this little guy could keep you company while I’m at work.”

  
Remus laughed as the puppy planted lick upon lick across his face. “I love you,” he said.

  
Sirius’ felt his own breath hitch. “I lo—”

  
“I love you,” Remus repeated to the puppy, in a high-pitched voice Sirius had never heard come out of his mouth. “I love you, I love you, I love you!”

  
///

  
Though he was decidedly in a bad mood, Sirius still perked up at the sound of the front door creaking open. A head of wild black hair appeared and Sirius slumped back into his couch. He’d never been so unhappy to see James in his life.

  
“Sirius?” Lily asked, coming in right behind James. “I thought you and Remus were catching a movie tonight?”

  
“Yeah, it started fifteen minutes ago.”

  
Lily winced. “Did he take Baby to the park?”

  
Sirius tried to respond but instead found himself grinding his teeth.

  
“He sure does love that dog,” James muttered under his breath.

  
Remus named it Baby and treated it accordingly. It went everywhere with Remus—to class, to run errands, on his and Sirius’ dates. Baby also got two home-cooked meals a day, at least one forty-five minute trip to the dog park for socialization, and a lullaby every night. Sirius was lucky Remus was afraid of squishing the damn thing or it would probably sleep in bed with them too.

  
“Don’t be jealous,” Lily began, “he’s just so excited—”

  
“I’m _not_ jealous,” Sirius huffed.

  
James and Lily shared a look.

  
Sirius didn’t like it. “Stop that,” he ordered.

  
Lily placed a pitying hand on his shoulder. “I’ll talk to Remus.”

  
Before Sirius could tell her to definitely _not_ do that, the door swung back open. Remus walked in cradling Baby in his arms. “Come on,” he told Sirius, “we’re running late.”

  
///

  
Baby wasn’t all bad, Sirius supposed. It at least had the good sense to go to sleep at 10 P.M. sharp every night and leave Sirius and Remus alone to their _own_ nightly socialization.

  
Yes, Sirius was feeling pretty fucking stellar indeed as he rolled off of Remus and relaxed back against the mattress; then, even more so when Remus tucked himself against his side. “I’ll be free on Tuesday for lunch. Do you want to meet?” Sirius asked, drawing light circles on Remus’ bare back with his fingertips. “We can go to the cafe you like across from the office.”

  
“I’d love to,” Remus murmured, eyes already closed against a wave of sleepiness, “but Baby and I have a playdate.”

  
Images of ten-year-old girls with fluffy Malteses and lonely old women with Chihuahuas filled Sirius’ head. He couldn’t (and more importantly didn’t want to) hold back a snort. “A playdate?”

  
Remus smacked him on the chest but laughed as he responded, “This guy we met at the park has this beautiful black lab named Comet—it’s a puppy right now. Anyway, Comet and Baby immediately fell in love and so the guy insisted we have a playdate.”

  
“Insisted?”

  
“Uh-huh,” Remus yawned, falling deeper into his tiredness. He let out a soft laugh. “And he’s been texting me about it _all day,_ so I’d feel bad canceling.” The end of his sentence trailed off into a soft whisper. Soon after, the sleepiness took hold of him completely, leaving Sirius alone with his thoughts.

  
///

  
“You want me to steal your dog?”

  
“You said Mary’s little sister wants one, right? Give her Baby, and I guarantee Mary will finally agree to go out with you.”

  
This did not reassure Peter. “But…” he trailed off weakly.

  
Sirius rolled his eyes. “It’s not that complicated. All you have to do is go into his apartment while we’re not there—I’ll give you the key—and then take the thing.”

  
“But, why—”

  
“Oh! And make sure to leave the door open a crack so Rem thinks he did it himself.”

  
Peter studied him for a moment. “You’re sick.”

  
“Sick of this fucking dog,” Sirius sighed.

  
///

  
Tuesday, the day of the playdate, came much too quickly. Sirius could not find one single person, not one single friend who would do him the simple favor of stealing his boyfriend’s demon dog. He grunted and picked at his pathetic lunch despondently.

  
He was so busy cursing the world and all the dogs in it that he didn’t notice Remus and Baby were in his cubicle until Baby was at his feet. Sirius was so happy with the surprise that he temporarily forgot he hated Baby and reached down to pet it. “What are you guys doing here?”

  
Remus let out a groan that took over his whole body.

  
Sirius simply raised an eyebrow in question.

  
“We were at the dog park, eating lunch with Robert and Comet, minding our own business. Then, before I even know what’s happening, Robert is leaning over to kiss me—”

  
_“He what?!”_

  
“—so then Baby jumps into my lap and _bites_ him.”

  
Sirius’ mouth fell open.

  
“He didn’t cause any real damage,” Remus winced, “but Robert got the point.”

  
It only took about a millisecond for Sirius’ shock to give way to guffaws.

  
Remus pushed his lips out into the slightest pout. “I should have known he thought it was a date when he pulled out the Rosé.”

  
“For being the smartest person I know, you can be a smidge oblivious at times.”

  
Remus sighed. “You’re not mad at me for going on a date, right?”

  
Sirius grinned and reached over to pull him close. “Of course not, my sweet. Why don’t you let me take you on a _real_ date to take your mind off it?”

  
When Remus excused himself to use the restroom before they left, Sirius scooped Baby up and held him at eye level. “You and me—we’re not so different.“

  
Baby barked out a response.

  
Sirius couldn’t say for sure but ultimately decided it was in agreement, so he delivered one particularly nice scratch behind Baby’s ear and offered him the rest of his ham and cheese sandwich. “Who’s a good dog?”

**Author's Note:**

> And then Sirius basically falls in love with Baby and spoils him rotten to the point where REMUS is like... calm down.
> 
> Written for the Prompt: "Sirius jealous about Remus's new puppy maybe? (and Remus thinking it's absolutely adorable once he realizes)" sent to me by @felicja-j on Tumblr. My Tumblr is @theprongsletthatlived in case anyone's curious!
> 
> The title is based on the 1982 science fiction horror film.
> 
> Thank you so much for reading!


End file.
